


history

by lexhhoffmxn



Category: Kim Taehyung - Fandom, taekook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Hobi - Freeform, M/M, Magic, Minyoongi, Powerful, Witches, bcimtooshy, fluff??, grosslysweet, hardstansarewelcome, jikook - Freeform, junghoseok, kimnamjoon, kooktae - Freeform, kookv, notmuch, powers, puke, sumdirtyjokes, taekook, taekooksmut, thisisasoftthing, uhhhh, v - Freeform, vkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexhhoffmxn/pseuds/lexhhoffmxn
Summary: The death of Kim Taehyung is something Jeon Jeongguk hates to think of. He hates the thought, the memories, the feeling, everything, so he doesn’t think about it.(or Jeongguk is struggling with the death of his past lover and pushes everyone away because he’s bad at coping. Good idea right?)





	1. beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The death of Kim Taehyung is something Jeon Jeongguk hates to think of. He hates the thought, the memories, the feeling, everything, so he doesn’t think about it. 
> 
> (or Jeongguk is struggling with the death of his past lover and pushes everyone away because he’s bad at coping. good idea right?)

Jeon Jeongguk struggles with his tie, just like he did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. He's never quite learned how you tighten the knot at the very end of the process of tying it. Everyday he puts it on, the same tie, and everyday he struggles with it.

"Fuck it," he huffs out of frustration, "I'm not impressing anyone." And with that he leaves the red tie lying on the bed, just like he does everyday.

He pushes the home button on his phone and flinches at the bright light the device brings to his eyes.

**10:46**

He sighs under his breath and walks into the kitchen barefooted, ignoring the slight pain the cool floor brings to his feet. He opens the cabinet beside the fridge and pulls out a grey cup. He used to hate the color grey unless it was in clothing. He thought it was a sad color, an ugly color, now it's his favorite color.

He brings the cup over to the sink, having the intention of filling it with warm water until it's a bit more than halfway full but quickly gets distracted by the almost blindingly bright snow outside the window in front of him. He used to love snow as a child, now he despises it. It's uncomfortably cold and it's a mess once you're done playing with it. Even though he's thinking about the harsh winter's gift outside his window, he's enjoying the way the warm water flows down his arm until he remembers what his intentions were.

"Shit," he mumbles, spilling some water out of the cup until it's almost two-thirds the way full and turns the water off.

He then reaches to the drawer beside his waist for the apple cider vinegar, honey, and cinnamon. He hesitates before chugging down the bitter drink and rinses the cup out. He's done this for over a year and the drink still hasn't gotten any better.

He walks back into his bedroom and finds his coat he left on the bed along with the forgotten red tie.

He mockingly huffs, picks the tie back up, and places it back into the drawer just like he does everyday. Because all of this is a routine he's created for his sanity that will one day drive him insane from the constant frustration.

_Another day, just like all the rest. Just like yesterday. Just like tomorrow. Just like yesterday's yesterday. Just like tomorrow's tomorrow. Time is my enemy, one second it can linger by stupidly and the next it can rush by in no rush at all. But you know what they say, my enemy’s enemy is my friend._

He hates feeling sorry for himself, he hates the feeling of pity for himself. He thinks it's so incredibly stupid.

But everything is just so damn cold. He's so cold that he wants to just drop everything and cry. It's so cold that he wants to call into work and tell them he's sick. They probably would even say yes seeing as how he doesn't take any time off. It's so fucking cold. It's so cold that he wants to just be with Taehyung again.

Taehyung. His lover, his highschool sweetheart, the person that means so much to him. The person that he lost a year and a half ago.

It's so damn cold, and he just wants to be warm.

He opens the front door and is immediately greeted with a cool breeze. He pulls his scarf up his neck and puts his hands in his pockets of his coat.

~

_"Baby, it's cold outside," Taehyung quotes from his favorite christmas carol and walks towards Jeongguk. He smiles at the untightened tie lying on top of his chest. "Honestly sweetie, how many times have I showed you how to do this?" He laughs and fixes it for him._

_"Obviously not enough." Jeongguk jokes and Taehyung laughs again and lies the tie back down in the center of his chest._

_Jeongguk smiles and looks over to his partner lovingly. Taehyung returns the smile as he puts a scarf around his neck and tightens it slightly._

_He couldn't imagine himself in love with anyone else in the entire world. Not when Taehyung existed. Taehyung is so perfect. He's so beautiful. He's got these beautiful brown eyes that Jeongguk gets lost in everytime he looks into them. Thick eyebrows and caramel skin that Jeongguk says makes him resemble a teddy bear. He has a beautiful smile that could make anyone mistake him for an angel, the softest ears he's ever felt, a sharp jawline but not as sharp as his own, but he's not complaining. He has soft dark brown hair that's been straightened for absolutely no reason, just for fun._

_"Gukie? Baby, what's wrong? You're tearing up?" Taehyung's voice says or something along those lines._

_God, his voice was so gorgeously deep. Jeongguk could just listen to it all day. If all he heard for the rest of his life was Taehyung saying just one word he'd forever be grateful._

_"Hey, babe, stop crying. What's wrong?"_

_Taehyung laughed softly and wiped his tears away with his thumbs._

_His laugh was heaven. Absolute heaven. No matter what, it always put him in a good mood. No matter what, it always made him feel better. No matter what, Jeongguk was so in love with this man._

_"You're just so damn beautiful. How'd I get so lucky?" Jeongguk whispered to himself but loud enough for his partner to hear._

_"Trust me, I'm the lucky one Gukie, and I could sit here all day just telling you all the reasons why and you could probably sit here all day arguing with me about them all but it's 11:04 and you need to go before you're late."_

_Taehyung says with another beautiful laugh. Jeongguk pouts and Taehyung finds it illegally cute so he pinches his cheeks lightly. "Come on, up and at it." he says to motivate his boyfriend, but he knows he's failing. He's not surprised at all, Jeongguk always spent every last minute he could thinking of reasons not to go to work._

_Using a fake cough or a "hurt" leg. Taehyung didn't complain though, he found it adorable.  
"But Tae, I'll miss you." Jeongguk says and continues pouting, knowing it's affecting his boyfriend in all the right ways._

_"Oh? But you know what they say, 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'." Taehyung says before pecking Jeongguk on the lips and goes to grab his coat for him._

_Jeongguk sighs in defeat and takes the coat from Taehyung and puts it on. Taehyung zips it up for him and looks at him. For a second he looks like he's choking but before Jeongguk can ask if he's okay he spits out a laugh._

_"Y-y-you look like a marshmallow," Taehyung breaths in after laughing the words out and is earned a whack on the arm from Jeongguk, who's back to pouting. "Of course a very cute marshmallow." he adds in, wiping one of his own tears away from laughing so hard._

_"Fuck you," Jeongguk mumbles under his breath._

_"Well tonight's free for me, what about you?" Taehyung winks at his blushing lover. They've been dating for a little while over 2 years and Jeongguk still blushes. "Hey, don't forget to keep your hands in your pockets so they're warm, okay? I love you but you really do need to head to work now. Have a good day, I love you." He rushes Jeongguk out the door for his own good so he's not late to work, like he usually is._

_~_

Jeongguk begins walking to the car covered in snow that he had forgotten to start up, sighing. He steps into the snow with a crunch and his foot is immediately met with a cold feeling despite him wearing boots. He takes another step and hears another crunch, then another and isn't surprised when the sound continues. He's almost at his car when he slips on the ice and falls backwards onto his tailbone.

"Fuck.." Jeongguk says as he realizes his phone had fallen into the snow next to him. "Please don't be broken. Please.." He picks it up carefully so it doesn't slip out of his hands and turns it over to see a big crack in the screen near the home button. He sighs out the breath he held in and gets up.

After fighting with the frozen door to get into the car and was hit in the head with a ice cicle, he finally starts the car and is met with the cold air conditioner he used the last time he rode in the car and immediately turned it off.

"Please, if someone is listening, please just make this a good day. Please. " His voice cracked on the last word and tears began to form but he quickly blinked them away as he backs out of his driveway and starts the day. It has only been 10 minutes into the day and Jeongguk has already made 4 wrong turns and been honked at 2 times from cars behind him when he didn't go fast enough at stop lights. When he accidentally spills his coffee on him when he makes a left turn he decided enough is enough.

"That's it, I'm calling in." He stops at a gas station and calls into his work, saying his mom had been sick for a while and after visiting her over the weekend he supposes it's finally gotten to him as well. They wished him a good day and said they hoped he felt better.

_Honestly fuck them. 'Feel better' my ass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhHhH hi sorry if there’s any mistakes or anything that’s confusing, i made this for a time consuming thing at first but then i decided i wanted to share it. sorry if the storyline is rough too. overall i’m sorry if it’s crap thx xx


	2. continuing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongguk's day gets worse oops.

He listened to the familiar melody in his head, replaying it repeatedly, trying to remember the rest of the song. Trying to concentrate on the melody, he sat back in his car seat, playing it over and over in his head. The car smelled of an old pine car refresher he bought months ago but overall it was nicely kept. He washed it monthly and he rarely ate in the car so there was no trash or bad odors intruding the pine tree smell. He had a tie-dye steering wheel cover, which was picked out by one of his past friends for his birthday a couple years ago. His eyes felt heavier and his body got warmer as he thought harder and suddenly he felt comfortable with the thought of sleeping in a car outside of the gas station.

 

~

 

_"Happy birthday Taehyungie," Jeongguk said sickeningly sweet in his boyfriend's ear as he woke up. This was Taehyung's 21 birthday which also marked their year and 2 months mark. Taehyung was 2 years older than Jeongguk was, they met at party Jeongguk's first year of high school but didn't start officially dating until the year after. Jeongguk doesn't like to call it love at first sight because he thinks of that as only falling for their looks but that's the only way to describe it. When he first saw him his first thought was that he was fake, photoshopped, anything but real._

_Taehyung was the type of guy that was friendly with everyone, even with people he didn't like. He wasn't one of those people who would act nice and then gossip about them behind their backs. No, he was a kind soul. He was humble, sweet, and even got amazing grades, any college would be lucky to have him. Anyone would be lucky to have him._

_Jeongguk wasn't very different, they were both popular, both very nice and humble, he got good grades but not as good as Taehyung's so he would always help him study. That's how kind he was. He would always make sure Jeongguk was doing well in school, he always watched over him in a guardian type of way. Jeongguk loved that about him._

_Taehyung groaned as he woke from his sleep, wiping off a bit of drool that Jeongguk personally thought was utterly adorable because he always drooled in his sleep, not too much though, not enough for a mess, but just enough to have to wash your face after sleeping._

_"Good morning, how does it feel to be 21 years old?" Jeongguk says with a wide smile as he looked at the person he loved more than anyone, more than anything._

_"Happy one year and 2 months to you too." Taehyung said with a deep morning voice, sitting up slowly so he doesn't get dizzy from moving too fast. Jeongguk smiled but wanted to say that his birthday was way more important than the relationship at the moment. He wanted to say that he thought his age was more important than the relationship's. But would that make him sound rude? Selfish maybe? He decided not to say it._

_"Are you hungry? Do you want to go somewhere for breakfast? Hobi Hyung said he wanted to see you before noon and it's already half past nine" Jeongguk says, smiling at his adorable teddy bear boyfriend. His dark eyes look tired from the sleep that's still in them. Taehyung hasn't been able to sleep recently due to insomnia he used to have that's came back to him. When he was younger he never rested easily but luckily he found ways to help. For example, he mixes honey, apple cider vinegar, and cinnamon into a cup of warm water and drinks it. He told Jeongguk that his insomnia stopped completely after moving in with him, saying now he can't fall asleep without having someone hold him or vise versa._

_"How's Panda Express sound?" Taehyung says as he audibly stretches his arms._

_"Korean food, my favorite," the younger of the pair jokes, "I'll text Hobi to meet us there after you shower."_

_"After I shower?" Taehyung's voice has a question in it and he rubs his bed headed hair._

_"Yes, you smell and you haven't showered in four days," Jeongguk scrunches his nose mockingly and Taehyung scoffs._

_"You love me," Taehyung sneers._

_"Maybe, but you smell like that guy from english class, remember him? What was his name?"_

_"Park Jimin?"_

_At one point of the relationship Jeongguk was very insecure about the strength of the relationship for months all because of this boy named Park Jimin._ _Right, Park Jimin. He used to flirt with Taehyung everyday in his senior english class last year with the knowledge that Taehyung and Jeongguk were dating. Jimin was the kind of guy that, even if Jeongguk hated admitting it, was cute and very smart. He was very friendly with everyone, including Jeongguk's boyfriend. Fortunately he graduated early and him and Taehyung lost contact._

_"Yeah," Jeongguk cleared his throat and pursed his lips, "That one."_

_"He actually smelled good if I'm being honest."_

_He probably did, he probably smelled really good. Fuck him._

_"Are you dating him or me?"_

_"Suddenly I'm deaf and need a shower, gotta go," Taehyung said quickly before dashing into the bathroom and turning the water on. Jeongguk was slightly offended but laughed it off and got dressed for their trip to Panda Express._

~

 

He wakes up slowly, feeling refreshed after napping. His vision returned to him slowly as he opened his eyes to the dark sky outside his car window and groaned. The chill of the car was enough to make him shiver but he ignored the feeling. He winced as he moved his neck, which was in an uncomfortable position while he had been sleeping. He looked at his surroundings and realized he was still at the gas station. It was still open seeing as how the lights were still on and he quickly decided it was probably a store that's open 24 hours. He picked up his phone and felt the crack that it gained just this morning and regrets ever even getting out of bed. He presses the home button and looks at the time.

**10:09 PM**

"Damn, my neck..." he rubs the pain away while stretching, "I've been sleeping since this morning..?" he thinks out loud quietly until his stomach grumbles, reminding him that he hasn't eaten all day so he runs into the store to buy a Gatorade and a cold sub. After finishing the sub, which probably only tasted good due to his starvation, he checks his phone again.

_No notifications. Surprising._

Jeongguk and his parents haven't had much of a reason to stay in contact since he started dating Taehyung from homophobia, which has never really bothered him. He'd choose Taehyung over them any day, including today. He deleted all social media apps ever since Taehyung's death because he hated the idea of social media. He felt like it was a toxic waste of time, instead of people paying attention to important things they just look at pictures or trends on their phones. Instead of paying attention to loved ones people are caught up in what was going on with their phone. Of course his social media pages were full of Taehyung and him but that has nothing to do with it, nothing at all. He inhales deeply, letting the pine odor envelop him. 

After letting out a sigh he decides it's probably best to get back home instead of sitting in the sketchy gas station. The roads were almost empty surprisingly, only a few cars would pass by him every now and then. He took this chance to think about his work. He works as an extra newspaper publisher, extra as in he doesn't actually have a category but he helps people with research and helps write it. So really he just finds the information and then if the writers are busy, he'll jump in and help out. He hates the job. He's the only extra that actually ever does anything, the rest either flirt with the boss or just sit around "working" on texting and scrolling through their phone, which is another reason why social media sucks. 

He let his mind wonder more as he stops at a stop light, sure even though the roads are empty he still has enough common sense to know to stop. He starts thinking about who made the alphabet and how slang words were created. He thought about how the word selca was created, if someone famous said it and everyone stole it from them or if it was accidentally made, because he's too lazy to actually look it up. Then he thought about fortune tellers and how fake they are, how it's impossible for them to know anything about him or the past. Then he sees a sign. 

 

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You can't tell him that that's not a sign to prove some three-eyed-money-taking jerk wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried making it longer ? sorry if it seems rushed also please excuse any mistakes/typos, i'm surprised i'm not failing english. sorry if i'm shit at this i'm trying i promise

**Author's Note:**

> uhHhH hi sorry if there’s any mistakes or anything that’s confusing, i made this for a time consuming thing at first but then i decided i wanted to share it. sorry if the storyline is rough too. overall i’m sorry if it’s crap thx xx


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